You're Doing It Wrong, Anna M Perez! My Response to "I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist!" (Not the book)

All too often, those that write in opposition of atheism have no real understanding of atheists or what we believe/understand. In recent years, more than a few news reports, newspaper and magazine articles and even movies have been written, spoken about and produced by those who have never had a cognitive discussion with an atheist. The caricatures these people and groups make are almost always so inherently incorrect it’s difficult to see their pieces as anything more than dishonest “hit jobs.”

I could point to many examples (looking at you, PureFlix), but this post responds explicitly to Anna M. Perez (@A_M_Perez) and her blog post I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist! If you think the title looks familiar, you’re not alone. It’s the same title as Frank Turek’s apologetics book (although the capitalization is a bit off). I’d be surprised if he knew she was using his title on her blog post without permission, but I doubt he cares about her lack of creativity.

I don’t care about her lack of creativity either. I do, however, care about her incredible misrepresentations of not only atheists but science in general. If you'd like to see how she acts and speaks on a regular basis, check out her Twitter profile.

Before I begin breaking down her blog post, I’d like to state a few things I won’t be doing.

1) I will absolutely not take anything she says out of context or attempt to misrepresent her statements with partially-written quotes. I see this happen over and over again when I read creationist materials or, as you’ll see in this post, when certain Christians attempt to discredit atheists (or anybody or anything that does not line up precisely with their worldview). If I quote this post, you will see the context and meaning behind it.

2) I won’t be attacking the author of the post specifically. I’ve never met the person and have no idea what she is actually like or how she thinks. I will certainly tear her post to shreds, but nothing I say is directed at the author.

3) I won’t block her or any of her followers or supporters. I also won’t respond with insults or denigrate the intelligence of any person that responds.

Well Hi!

Hello all you amazing folks! This is my first post, so I figured I'd introduce myself. I promise this won't take long.

I suppose introductions are in order. My name is Nathaniel, and I'm an atheist living in south-central Nebraska. I was raised in Nebraska for most of my life before my mother decided, just before the start of my sophomore year of high school, it was time to move my brothers and I to the wonderful (read: horrible) state of Texas. 

I had accepted Jesus the spring before our move and was all aboard the Jesus Train. I read my Bible daily, listened to almost strictly Christian music and went to church probably five times per week. 

In Texas, I bounced around churches a bit (seriously, who knew there were so many denominations and that they all believe something a little different from the other?) before eventually settling on Community Church in Orange, Texas. It was there that I decided I wanted to be a youth pastor. 

Here's what struck me the most odd (and I suppose I never thought of it at the time): after my senior year of high school, I went with other members of my church's youth group on a mission trip to Arizona to tell the Cherokee Nation all about Jesus. While we were there, I was astounded when more than a few of the children told me they had never heard of Jesus or the Bible. I thought, "How is this possible, especially in the United States?" The thought that many other faiths exist didn't even occur to me. Looking back, that actually says a lot about how I, an 18-year old high school graduate, couldn't fathom a world without Jesus.

After high school, I went to the Navy. While in the Navy, I went to multitudes of different concerts (tobyMac was my favorite), attended more than two dozen conferences and enjoyed telling others in the military about the love of Jesus. As it turns out, pretty much all of them already knew about Jesus and didn't really care what I had to say. 

After the military, I moved to Kansas City, Missouri. I love that place. It isn't Lincoln, Nebraska, but I suppose it'll do as a nice town. I went to a great church in KCMO, and that's where I got my start in what I'll call "real ministry." I had the opportunity to lead the youth, enjoyed being a leader in our young adult/singles group and really liked hanging out with the other young adults. Later that year, I had my stint as a youth pastor at a tiny church in Pembroke Pines, Florida. Honestly, I couldn't tell you if the place is even still there.

When I made the tough decision to leave my place as youth pastor, I traveled a bit more before, for some reason, moving back to southeast Texas. Well, I suppose the universe has a funny way of making things happen. After becoming fairly involved with a church in Nederland, Texas, I started asking questions. These were questions that never even occurred to me in the past. I think, one day, I took the quotes from a former pastor seriously. He always said, "Check the Bible and its accuracy. Don't just believe what we tell you." I'm certain he knew few of us would actually check. I mean, who would think the religious leaders among us would lie to us? 

I had already read numerous books on apologetics (hi there, Lee Strobel) and thought I would find my questions about faith easily answered. Wow was I in for a surprise.

I found the exact opposite. It hurt. It really did. I was never somebody that took Genesis literally, but I did love my faith. I sincerely believed Jesus had died (and risen again) for me. I believed I was going to heaven, and I hated the thought of anybody I knew spending eternity damned to separation from anything "good." Heck, I had even led my older brother to Jesus. This was important stuff to me.

I like to think I wasn't the only one with questions. As I looked around church, I tried to make out those who might be struggling as I was. I even made the tough decision to approach leaders at different churches and ask them about the questions I was having. I was disheartened to be spoken at (not to) like a child, as if my searching out truth was against some code. I was told, "It's in the Bible. Read Strong's Concordance. That will clear everything up," more than once. I was never given clear answers. I was told, in Darth Vader fashion, that my lack of faith was disheartening and concerning. One pastor even remarked that he hoped I hadn't taken my questions to other people in "his" congregation. 

Needless to say, the evidence that would confirm Christianity looked bleak. I then researched other modern religions and found them to lack evidence for most of their claims. While that would cause celebration among most followers of Christ, it brought me to my knees.

In early 2009, while I was walking home from work, I looked up at the stars. Even as a child, I was in awe of the beauty of our universe. When I became a Christian, I used its beauty alone to verify God's existence. 

That night, though, I was distraught. I needed something, anything. While looking up at the stars, for the first time in my life, I yelled at God. My words, "WHERE ARE YOU? WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME? PROVE YOU'RE THERE! ALL I'VE DONE IS TO LIVE FOR YOU, AND YOU CONTINUE TO STAY HIDDEN. JUST SHOW ME YOU EXIST!"

Needless to say, there was no voice from the heavens. There was no magical light that shone on me. There was just...nothing. My worst fears had come true, and I sat on the sidewalk and cried for almost an hour. I was lost inside. What would I do now? What direction would my life take? Would my entire world fall apart? What do I do? 

My older brother once told me he has marveled at how quickly I bounce back from even the most dire situations. I think that's supposed to be taken as a compliment. On this night, though, I saw no bouncing back. All I saw was despair. I was beyond sad. I was angry. I was unsettled. As I picked up my backpack and finished my walk home, I wondered how I could ever find peace and happiness again. The only way I understood love was in the religious sense. How could I love others without direction? That question, along with my others, floated through my head as I got into my apartment, showered and crawled under my blankets. 

For the first time in years, I didn't pray before going to sleep. In fact, I didn't think much at all. I fell asleep almost instantly. I don't remember any dreams. 

When I woke up, I wasn't groggy. My mind was immediately thinking about the previous evening (and the years of research prior), but I wasn't sad. I didn't cry. I didn't feel as though my world was ending. 

I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, made a cup of coffee (yea yea), sat in front of my computer and made (up to that point) the toughest decision in my life. I knew there was no going back, but I knew it was time. 

I logged onto Facebook, took about three seconds to consider what I would write in this public post and let my fingers do the talking.

"Hello. My name is Nathaniel Walters, and I'm an atheist."